seems weird, that i only blog on days when i feel ensnared with emotions, often the gloomy kind. likewise for today. good in a way though, i dont get to be a doormat and i dont blog often(:

i feel guilty today, i accidentally spilled water on some guy's PSP, damn. of course he's gotta blow, but at least there's no uproar, his PSP is alright though, and he's good enough to let it go with a nvm gesture. naw, that's not wad made me cranky.

it's reflection of thoughts really, sometimes i think too much, sometimes i dont think at all, that's cause for worry. i feel that by adjoining choices, that dream and kiterunner, you would somehow understand my life. i should be blessed, but i dunno wad's with my train of thoughts, why i have to make my life complicated.

i think relationships are verrrrry complex, sophisticated, etc etc etc.. then there's the fear of accepting, fear of rejecting, fear of being dejected, fear of being mishandled, fear of being mistreated etc etc etc.. nope, didnt really go through 1 yet, not mature enough? sometimes i envy those in relationships, but i dont jump at the chance when 1 comes. dont feel like handling one right now, O's more important. furthermore, what if ure a guy, will you accept someone older than you, but like someone else at the same time? or if ure a girl and like someone (younger) than you but fear being rejected? or just cause you, a girl made the first move?
interesting how a relationships can screw up somebody eh. sometimes it feels good to be single and wanted. (:

i think i havent been a really good friend, i cant seem to trust, but somehow or rather i am trusted with secrets. ive been quite cold to certain people, have put up false fronts yadaa yadaa. MAN, I FEEL SO EMO.

what's up with crankiness? seems to be finding me quite frequently nowadays. not stress definitely, or maybe it is, but i dont feel the pinch. i need a life, some time to relax, and someone who i can spill everything to. but i cant seem to trust. ohwell.

i have a choice to live or die, be it young or old, be it happy or sad, be it stressful or stress free, ahfaoufhaoghaoduihgiuasogoiuwroeg. sometimes i dont even know what im writing or thinking. i can be really random, yet they may mean something.

i think ive been blabbering nonsense, or something close. i feel dog-tired. maybe all i really need is a good sleep.

p.s just ignore whatever's up there, i dont know what's wrong with me either.

D4 + The Teens + Ms Chua = Invincible :D
SOLO NEXT YEAR, WHEE

TAGREPLIES:
zhiyi: yeah, updated what, with 2 posts (:
ahmed: i think i really need to FREE MY MIND, too much crap inside / yeah the dream is significant though.
sabina: i mean i HELP u upload onto MY blog, at least it wont be compressed(: that creepy doll song we heard at the dance xplosion thing, at least my definition of creepy uh. / hahahahahhaha, i think i will be happiest if i can stop thinking(:
khoonhwa: yeah, so unexpected also. like im some emo kid
hazelll: i dont know? haha, they like me, for the wrong reasons lol.
lala: hey, you are?
jiayu: i hope i can not think too much too, sucks to be me :( dont worry la, im happy 90% of the time anyway haha. this is one of the 10% of my life

have you ever had a dream so tangible, so real, so sorrow, and that it perhaps reflects an aspect of your life, or part of your life which may occur or may not occur at all, that you shed tears for it? i just did.

i was out with my parents for dinner. simple 3-course kinda dinner, no big deal, more of a son-parents-harmony-dinner. i turned up really late after meeting a girl(dont ask, not the main point), i brought her with me. my parents relented, i could see it from their expressions. with an unfinished meal, me and her went to some bakery. due to insufficient money, i waited for my parents to come over, to sponsor me the money to buy, well, mooncakes? no they didnt oblige, i feel anguish. next moment i was inside a studyroom with them of course, with a heated argument over the 'mooncake issue' and many more, with me being dominant and all. this was no ordinary skirmish, i even called them 'useless parents' straight in their face, i wasnt reflective of what i'd just said. anger had clouded my conscience, there was no orientation of wrong or right. i had no idea how much it hurts, to see your beloved hurling accuse at you, even calling you 'useless' despite that undying love you'd shown. then, my mom gave me a cheque with a form(some form to travel to some places with some groups). this was supposed to be an expensive trip(they were rather poor in the dream?), similar to the NZ trip i had last year, and perhaps the most i've ever anticipated for. though unspoken, i knew that the accumulation for the money for ME was tough. things couldnt get any worse, my mother muttered something about 'useless', then wailed. I HEARD HER CRY, dad was tough, he was playing games(though he never does that in real life).. but i know it hurts, i just know it..

yes, this was the moment i woke up, and cried.. seriously, just cried.. not whimpering, not wailing, just crying..

i dont think this will ever happen, but it just reflects on how selfish i am, to always put my interests before theirs, like it was destined to be child over parents, eg money issues where i couldnt see their plight, yet at the same time demanding sthg which could worsen the current situation. which parent doesnt love their child? their flesh and blood? the least we can do is to show that we are not brought into this world for nothing, that their sacrifices are worth the effort, instead of a 'useless parent' kinda comment straight in their faces..

yeah this post is emo, bet most of us wont comprehend it either.. at least till you experienced it..

fyi, i havent cried since the death of my grandpa.

but no, i aint feeling distress over it, life goes on. so, everybody, TREAT YOUR LOVED ONES, ESP YOUR PARENTS BETTER (:

nothing much to post..
so i shall do a this or that quiz(:

Myspace or Facebook? Myspace, facebook is so troublesome.
Shower or Bath? long relaxing bath
Nintendo DS or Gameboy? Xbox lol
House phone or Cell? cell, games and cam
Light blue or Dark blue? navy blue(:
Maths or Science? neither
Winter or Summer? summer
Circle or Square? lol..? circle
1 or 2? 1
TV or Radio? TV
Lake or Ocean? OCEAN, love the beach man
Eggs or Waffles? BOTH!
Simpsons or Family guy? Simpsons
PS2 or XBOX? Xbox
FOB or Cute is what we aim for? FOB
Nerd or Geek? neither
Digital cam or Normal cam? Digital, duh
Britney or Lindsay? Britney
X or O? XXX lol
Emo or Goth? neither
Dark or White chocolate? Milk chocolate with hazelnut (:
Football or Basketball? football
Hamster or Guinea Pig? Guinea pig
Dolphin or Whale? Dolphin
[ or (? [ looks more style lol
Blind or Deaf? neither
Yahoo or Hotmail? hotmail
Qns or Ans? both lol
Like or Love? Like then love
Making or Buying? buying if i have de cash
White or Black? both
MP3 or Ipod? my stone
AM or PM? both
A or Z? Z
Old or New? the new dont come if the old dont go(:
Friday or Saturday? friday, party night!
Tea or Coffee? neither
Blondes or Brunettes? Blondes
Footie or Rugby? footie
Blue or Red? blue!
Dancing or Singing? both
DVD or Cinema? Cinema
Trainers or Shoes? trainers
Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? LOTR
Mercedes or Ferrari? Ferrari man, SPEEED
Briefs or Boxers? boxer briefs haha
Laptop or Computer? hmm laptop
MCDonalds or KFC? KFC
Smoking or No Smoking? nah
Messy Room or Clean Room? just a little messy, mostly clean(:
Hamburgers or Rootbeer? hamburgers
Spiked Hair or Flat Hair? Spiked
Guitar or Drums? Drums
Skateboard or bike? Bike
Matched Socks or Mismatch? matched
Talking To Much or Not Talking Enough? just enough
Rent a Film or Cinema? Cinema
Ice Cream or Chocolate? BOTH
Cats or Dogs? dogs
Wrong or Right? Right
50 Cent or Eminem? Eminem
Shorts or Jeans? depending
R&B or Urban? ..both
Hello or goodbye? HEY
Nike or Reebok? Nike, actually either is fine
Gold or silver? Gold

'if the world is holding you down, break away'

I FEEL LIKE DANCING.
just feeling groovy man~
it feels good 'cuz ive completed 90% of the dance already!


my hands ached from that stupid 8X(i-dunno-how-many-bars)X2chorus choruses of the song.
my head throbbed from hearing that xxx track01.
ohwelll.


basically thats my life for today (:
i wanna meet FRANKIE SANDFORD man, she's hawtttt.


anyway, COME SUPPORT D4 AT NAFA ON 21stJUNE. 12BUCKS PER TIX ONLY
730PM. TIX SALES ARE HOT ON DEMAND.


the competition's edging nearer, i feel like a star already.
woot, i should divert course.
celeb's/luxury life aint that bad(:



it's just the way you look tonight. i was blown away.

i'm finally back
yeah.
firstly im gonna say that i found a new interest:
dancing.
lol.
not DDR, that's already well, rather mastered.
in fact, some really cool dance by SC8.
learnt about 60% of the moves alr, that's an accomplishment.

right, so back to life.
had another electone showcase performance.
was supposed to be the most explosive, dramatic want, but it went out of hand.
haha, the electric guitar became piano suddenly xD
but nevertheless, my ending was stylo.
everybody said that, my winning move was superb, COOL.
wore shirt and styled a bit, and that impressed somebody.
haha, handsome eh.
no pictures though, move along..
went to EXPO for popular, adidas and food fair with GN after that.
the placed was packed like sardines man, even had to queue to get in some sectors(heh, played too much doom).
took a little too many samples (:
so my dinner was settled.
we're not cheapos though, we bought around 8+ bucks worth of food too.
popcorn chickens, drinks, jellies, chocolate waffles etc.
indeed it's called POPULAR for a reason, the people are chock-a-block everywhere.
saw this reallly interesting personality-trivial-kinda book.
according to the book, i oughta be a moviestar, cheerleader, etc..
celebrity related. cool eh.
pilot & millionaire too.
im also the extreme extremist, over-optimistic, non-rule-follower etc..
in short party-freak.
im still thinking about the black dog.
inside joke la.

i will also blog about this adventurous yet comical day:
last sunday.
went to henderson's wave.
view was fantastic, panoramic view.

trekked ahead till we reached the canopy walk..
and alexandra's arch.
then, the best part.
we got LOST!
we cant find the car anywhere, mum got so friggin pissed off.
haha, we took the bus, then ended up at the wrong side of the town.
we strolled and strolled and ended up nowhere.
in the end we walked back up the wave and got back to the car after approximately 3hours later.
whoo.
anyway i think this is sweet.
yeah, that's my pop and mom.
and that is how high we were at. altitude.

a random realllly atmospheric picture.
Random Song: Here I Am - Marion Raven.

~i believe im sleeping with the ghost of you and me

let the pictures do all the talking~THE MUTTONS! and we 'appeared' LIVE on 987FM too!
anyway, we were at Raffles City, getting complementary mum's day flowers
Then to the FLYER, it's humongous.
It's really a pretty sight at night.
END OF FRIDAY

Saturday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! Celebrated at some cheena restaurant. usual cost, 100+, gave the best present ever, BOX OF POTATO CHIPS, PRAWN CRACKERS, PEANUTS etc. lol~ (not cheapskate, it cost more than 10 overall)
Sunday - nothing much, just had overdose of donuts from QUEENS CONFECTIONERY. got my M2 1Gb card finally.
Monday - Paper2 for Emaths, i think it's aite, except for the fact that i mess up (n-2)(180) with (n-1)(90). crap. ohwell. messing around in TM after sch with Ashley, Yanen, LW is pretty fun man. haha.

anyway, happy birthday(belated or whatsoever) to
Brenda Chong,
Joanne Chen,
Siti Khairunnisa,
DAD,
MUM.
anybody else?
sorry if i missed out any.
HAPPY MUM'S DAY TOO!

MCGRIDDLE'S NOT THAT NICE.

SHASHLIK CHICKEN.

Caviar with egg, some mexican food

NewYorkSuperFudgeChunk!
i finally posted a picture of ZHIYI, haha.

funniest thing ive heard in a while from muttons:
YOU'RE SO FLAT THAT THE CLICK 5 SANG ABOUT YOUR BRA, 'IT'S EMPTY~'

RANDOM SONG: David Cook- Always Be My Baby


relive the memories~

Reflection?
i dont know why i have this compulsion to blog, though it's the exam period.
crap.
ohwell.
i shan't talk about the exams, only 1 sucked so far.
so far so good, still rather appeased with the papers so far.
i feel like reviewing this 1 article i came upon a few days back.
1 about a woman in her late 50s who complained about a mute and deaf male cleaner in the female toilet. she wrote this shocking incident to the the straits time(or newpaper) then lodged a police report just because she saw the male cleaner cleaning the female toilet. she claimed that there was no sign outside the female toilet indicating 'cleaning in process' and further accused the cleaner of not performing his duty simply cuz he didnt possess any tools for cleaning/maintenance at the period of time she was in the toilet. in fact, he was just checking the current condition of the toiletbowls, before doing a thorough fix and did put a sign indicating 'cleaning in process', which mystically disappeared. that was the synopsis anyway. often, i see female cleaners in male toilets, yet no males ever resented, or do they? but nobody ever blew up the matter or lodge a complain. no, not so petty as yet. shouldn't the guys be more mindful about a female cleaner in the toilet, since mostly we use the urinals, thus there would be less privacy. isnt it equivalent to having surveilliance while peeing or just 'providing a free show'? if anybody wishes to use the excuse of gender difference, then isnt it gender discrimination? males and females both deserve privacy, it doesnt mean that 1 deserves lesser, equality in sexes, isnt it? the damn woman is just overly-sensitive man. he's just a mere cleaner, furthermore, he is disabled. she could just be more vigilant. she was inside a cubicle that has a door. she wasnt exposed, stark naked. he neither peek, nor cast a glance at her. she could have just suggested that male cleaners should stick to the original male toilets, and vice versa for female cleaners. it would have made her life more gaily. is there a need to write to the newspapers? or even lodge a police report? did she want the disabled person to get arrested for harrassing her? come on, be more realistic man. and to the woman, you are 50+ man, reflect a little, i'm sure you're wise enough. i betcha the man aint interested in you anyway.
Singaporeans are complaining all for the wrong reasons. we are obsessed with the fact that 'customers are always right.' there is no room for mistakes. adults are overly conservative. even words like 'damn', 'shit', etc are censored, and they are not even close to the word 'fuck'. It's not as if a child will pick up the word as long as he/she heard it once on the radio. With good parental guidance, he/she can pick up the word at a tender age, but learn not to use it. Though it's almost not practical as even a five year old can describe 'sex' as effortlessly as though lifting a finger now, it's still worth a try. i will definitely not lie to my son about the explanation of 'fuck' if he asks, it's a way of life, face it. thanks to globalisation? thats not the point.

look at that. it proves my point. Singapore is definitely picking up, hastening, improving in terms of technology and lifestyle. but i can ascertain that we are backwards in attitudes, being kpo for instance, or my previous points, adamant with the 'customers always right' classy attitudes, conservative, kiasu etc. we should just learn to be gratified man.

anyway i heard some interesting things recently.
men are from earth, women are from earth, deal with it.
what's a synonym for thesaurus?
what's a synonym for synonym?
define definition.

i wanna try the new mcgriddles man, looks yummy. ohwell.



i aint so perfect myself, but cant Singaporeans not be so typical?

that was not an emo post.
'simplicity is the key to life'

'i always aim to surpass myself, thats the only way to improve.'

it's past my bedtime now, ohwell.
but im still blogging.
these past few days have been rather eventful.
had EL/HCL papers 1 etc.
frequent outings, occasional skirmishes, some dilly-dally-ings.
played too much soccer, studied too little.
MYEs' are just around the corner yet i feel so inadequate, ohwell.
dammit, couldnt possibly ace anything with this going on man.
im gonna start a strict study schedule.

anyway just to share some stupid/trivial things worth mentioning that happened this week,
1)my friend's lock bind our bikes together, her lock spoilt.
the metal kacha-ed, we couldnt open the lock.
we spent half an hour trying, finally called her friend to come down with a plier.
he came with a mini-plier, the damn lock was too thick and solid.
we only managed to cut half the nylon-metal strings.
we tried for another half an hour.
i finally called my dad for help.
he came with some tools, wretched the lock.
our bikes are finally free.
all in all, we spent 1.5hours trying to solve this lock problem(:
ohwell.
how cool's that?
2)went to orchard with the gang earlier today.
watched ironman then loitered around.
i found my white vest!
45.90/39.90.
still looking for a good deal.
we played miniUNO practically everywhere, even while standing on the MRT.
haha, interesting people eh.
retarded, ohwell.
ironman aint so nice, so draggggy man.

no pictures now, lazy to upload them.

'paint a beautiful life'

Lian Ai-ING

2nd finalist, also from ms chua's class, the teens

1st finalist, fantastic

3rd finalist, US

first and foremost, D4 GOT INTO THE FINALS!
YEAH.
we were one of the 4 teams out of 14 to get into the finals.
the finals will be held at NAFA.
21st jun, 730pm.
tickets at 12bucks.
man, humongousss event man.
we need supporters, cause there will be audience choice.
great.

life's either mighty screwed or simply's splendid.

i feel damn dumb. i just wanted to convey these questions across, why did i blabber? why did i beat about the bush, worst of all, why did i gave EXAMPLES?

1. CAN WE HAVE LESSER ENRICHMENT PROGRAMMES SO THAT WE DONT HAVE TO PAY THAT ROCKET-HIGH EDUSAVE FUND OF 400+ ANNUALLY?
2. CAN WE HAVE LESSER 'SCHOOL-PRODUCED' BOOKS TO BUY?
3. CAN WE MAKE IT NOT COMPULSORY?
4. WHY DO CMS THIS YEAR NOT HAVE CLASS KEYS?
5. CAN SLIGHT TAPERING OF PANTS BE ALLOWED TO ENSURE BETTER FITTING?

anyway.
ive learnt to think more before projecting my views.
for that, im going to shut up more often.
i think im a little too hash.
i need not be in the limelight.
i just need to be quieter.

but right now, i feel like digging a ditch and burying myself in it/jump off a building and land face-flat/slip and fall in a glacier etc.
i wont, of course.

'attire doesnt determine attitude'
i hope they know that

'It will take a while to get over, but nevertheless, seek to find the strength to move on'

hey, im back again.
gonna be a really long post.
today was great, had school and all.
but was released early due to the chinese people having oral.
went to loyang then to Muhd's house.
Fahim and Ridzwan came over afterwards, played PSP for awhile.
finally, SOCCER.
comical game, realised that i aint goalie's 'material', too 'blur' for that.
teamed with muhd, liangwei, fadhil and ahmed most of the time.
scored a few, missed a few.
some injuries here and there.
no sweat though.
some guys joined too, like hakim and mervin etc.
it's a team-bonding game man, and we can train our stamina too.
soccer's great(:
yesterday.
went for wushu.
vaguely recalled wu duan chang quan and taught some jrs, as they called it.
man, they have bands now to gauge the abilities and level of seniority.
i can get red.
everybody seemed delighted to see me, haha.
havent been there for ages.
senior coach talked to me about our modern society, it's good to be smart, learn to use it appropriately.
he taught me the basics of an aerial cartwheel.
im gonna master it.
afterwards met kelvin for lunch then went for electone class.
finally got my Fila shoebag.
D4 met once again and this time we ended really late, close to 8.
starved by then, but managed to crawl home and enjoy the sumptuous dinner.
MY MOM COOKED. yeah baby.
Sat.
PY's birthday.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, PY
went to her party with LLW and Edward.
the food was fantastic man, love the fondue, satays, curry potato and fried rice.
then went to swim with fadhil.
IMPROMPTU MAN, i didnt bring any extra clothings.
free willy.

took some photos, played some games, then we went home.
for the photos, visit the class blog.
aite, good day everybody.
bye.

Stuck In My Head: Nine Days - Marvelous

'make peace with living, only then will you be free from regrets'

today was another typical school day.
with little or not much excitement. as usual.
i would say that my life now is placid.
well i got back my chem test.
did pretty well.
perhaps the only thing ever worth mentioning about so far.
did my physics test too. electromagnetism sucks man.
betcha did badly.
ohwell.
class blog's up. it will be in my links soon.
physics remedial.
what can i say.
me and lw spent the hour crapping and playing as usual.
we never seemed to run out of topics to crap.
we can 'regenerate' and 'recycle' topics as and whenever.
soccer.
wushu's out. so soccer's my only form of exercise now.
feeling lethargic afterwards.
reckon i will sleep early tonight.
gotta get on with life. bye.

StuckInMyHead: Dan Ferrari - Stuck In My Head

'embrace your youth, you will never get it back'

man, i either flunked my amaths test today, or surpassed myself and scored beautifully.
either way, i wasnt bothered too much about it, screw it.
ohwell.
first test down, 4 more to go.
SS and reproduction(s) test tml, but i will miss one due to groups' display.
ohwell, i hope we can at least clinch this last medal.
soccer.
havent played it for ages.
slept my day away. feels weird, i sense no urgency while people are busy mugging their heads off. screw it.
ohwell, cant be bothered now.
i think tml will be an eventful day.
hopefully i'm right, but not on the wrong kinda events.
uploaded bigger 'renditions' of CMs photos below.
i miss my fringe somehow




yes, my hair's short, yes, i looked like a boy, ohwell.


i like this picture, it looks cool(:







a snip, and it's gone with wind



'open your heart, it's meaningless if it remains close to oblivion

had the charity 'uno' day where we're all required to gather donations and for every 2bucks donated, the donor receives half a pack of mini-limited-edition uno cards pack.
managed to sell my 20packs in an hour, guess i was lucky.
went on to help liangwei & edward and i swear i was cursed after that, ohwell..
i couldnt sell more than 5packs in an hour.
strangely, my total amounted to only 59.60, 40cents short, baffling indeed..
kelvin sponsored that 40 cents, thanks mate(:
but really, from this rather horrid experience, i can conclude that singaporeans are not very charitable..
it's saddening
ohwell.
finished at around 3pm then went on to yamaha for electone class.
my sight-reading sucks, proven..
i really need to improve on it man, seriously.
trying to get the hang of things in grade 6, really aint easy,
D4 continued our rehearsal, and now with really 'frantic' hand movements man,
drastic, entertaining, comical, loud, hysterical, u-name-it..
screw it, Amaths test and 1 last training for tues's group display tml.
im worried about amaths, differentiation of log sucks..
aite, off to revise..
goodbye

the previous blog.
here

anyway, had chem remedial today.. the event's all in the link above.
check it.
went whitesands with kelvin and edward afterwards, the study trip was futile, as usual.
ohwell..
at least i did some work on sexual reproductions, plants AND animals..
liangwei was our highlight, that joker, soon-to-be class mascot..
saw russell, he hasnt changed.
went to loyang afterwards, bought my favourite donut.
walked back with edward, he went to some relative's house, and i strolled home.
screw academics, i slacked the rest of my night away.

'You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

hey ya