Beginning of a new 'me'

Life really sucks more than usual this year. Ive learnt many things but the lessons came with a great price. My life seems to be dwindling into an abyss, or close to one. i do wish to see a light at the end of the tunnel, or in this case, a hole.

I have a recollection of that pokemon movie where the pokemons fell into a hole and landed in a pokemon paradise. And, everything just gets better. I do not want a smooth-sailing life, but i do not want to be on a roller coaster which dips constantly. I want corkscrews and stuff like this, if you get what i mean.

Today, ive been officially been labelled as a 'reserve' after a great deal of practising and bonding with the team and all. Yeah, winning > friendship. i agree on that, guess i havent been practising hard enough to deserve that place. Still this bubbling sorrow sucks.

Ive always tried to inculcate the 'nonchalence' in my life, but it always end up with sharp lances of guilt. Through cultivating this characteristic, ive caused myself to be distant from many people, particularly the people from my previous class.

What ended up was me making new friends and preserving superficial friendships with my schoolmates. Guess i finally understand the logic of 'many close friends' OR 'few true friends' kinda crap.

I yearn for instant results. Only 1 week of studying and i feel all high and mighty. This downfall is certain, but uncalled for. I abhor my current disposition, yet i do not have the mood to reverse all these shit.

I need even greater motivation and it seems NTU is my only goal at the moment. I lost my passion for many things, and i hope that god will reignite them. i want to be able to relish in my fine achievements and bask in glory.

I believe that i can get through this period of my life. With god guiding me, and my family and friends(those who care) who are still holding on to me, I will break thru this barrier and overcome whatever obstacles coming my way.

'Hope is a dangerous thing'

i realised i have 99 posts now, 1 more from my antipicipated 100. now it didnt really matter anymore, guess i lost that excitement along the way

I havent been on here for a long time but i realised this is prolly my place of solace. talking about stuff with people isnt exactly feasible since i will just ramble on.

i havent been a very nice person all these while, and it was reflected by people's obvious reactions. sometimes it can be considered a blessing in disguise, otherwise, it's just pile and pile of crap.

its a dilemma most of the time
x

Another few

For TOK YU LING's benefit.. jang geun suk, 2 yoonas and 2 sungmins..

I think some nursery rhymes are focusing and teaching the wrong things:

5 little ducks went out one day
over the hills and far away
mother duck shouts quack quack quack quack
and only 4 little ducks came back

-the mother duck hecks the poor lost duckling ):
and nobody ever asks why or where it went!

Alex found a hedgehog in his backyard
I know how to count its 2. but thats not the point.
i want a hedgehog as pet too :)
richie needs a companion

Hallo blog :)

PW is officially over *cheers*
*pop champagne*
*cork hits YW*
*FUCK LA! - YW*
*Wahpiang! dont scold f can anot -.- - YN*
*GrizzleY! - Fabian*
*Wahlau! mai cha la - Ethel*
*Diam la, ai de - CR*
*Kan bu dao shui zai shuo hua - YC*
*HAHAHAHA(laughs for nothing) - Debra*
*-_- - YL*

0.o

Anyway i went to sgforum just now, the marketplace actually, because i wanna get these necklaces

Someone please tell me where i can it in singapore ):

Anyway, one of the thread in the forum is: Should music be free?

then there was a really stupid reply. Am not going to spell out his name, but he does have a peabrain.

'music should be free! not unless you intend to sell it.

most of the artist shown in some crappy music channels only intend to milk our pockets and thats it! compare to people in ug scenes and indie who do shows for the love of it and donations do exist, yeah, and they use it just to cover all of the venue expenses or some will do it a better cause.

mtv heres a fat middle finger for you'

splitting up:
'music should be free! not unless you intend to sell it.'
-DUH, then buy? donate? provide direct provision?

'most of the artist shown in some crappy music channels only intend to milk our pockets and thats it!'
-Smart aleck, nobody asked him to purchase all the CDs in the world. He should be wise enough to judge for himself the good from the bad, and just make payments for those he prefers. One cd is only about 20+ bucks, and that milks his pockets? If so, he should be saving up for the three meals he probably lack every day.

Oh, does he know about freedom of choice? where he is entitled to NOT watch the channels and NOT buy the CDs?

'compare to people in ug scenes and indie who do shows for the love of it and donations do exist, yeah, and they use it just to cover all of the venue expenses or some will do it a better cause.'
-Yes, donations do exist, but donations to cover up for venue expenses? Is the guy nuts or living in limbo? which sane person will offer to donate like 100k to offer some artist to sing on stage in a theatre or a concert hall? Even if the same artist is to perform 24/7, the funds he received in a month will probably be insufficient to even cover up half an hour's rental fees of a concert hall.

also, love for music = getting donations? What if some prick who absolutely adores music is so untalented and tonedeaf that nobody is willing to donate anything?

'mtv heres a fat middle finger for you'
-At least MTV's more successful.

moin!

Dramas often have these introductory songs at the start or something. I think that its kinda dumb sometimes, especially for the family drama serials. They often portray a full family at the end, with the happy couples. Viewers will then know that X will be with Y, while Y will not be with Z, even if currently, Y is with Z. See its already a spoiler.

Sometimes, when the drama is about marriages, it's worse. It shows the ending directly. All the marriages are laid out side by side, and the single lads and lasses will be sidelined.

It beats the purpose totally. And this is MOST frequent in singapore dramas. kinda pointless and stupid.

The Americans are smarter, most of the time there isnt even an intro song. they go straight to the airing, which isnt a waste of time or resources. Some songs may be nice, but it can be irritating.. and unless the dramas like really cool, nobody's gonna bother about the song.

At least do it the TXFB way, the song is so drama and the plot is simply perfect, with so much twists here and there. HK dramas FTW. Some of the Americans' too, like Supernatural :)

Sg dramas = TCMI

OP is driving me mad. ):

I swear my family is breeding alcoholism.


I have drank wine soooooo many times this year.

No, I aint complaining, i like it :)

I think i need to change my blogskin, but im so lazy to find.

Most of the skins are so girlish.


I just watched the sickest video called '3 men 1 hammer'

its GROSS TTM TTM TTM X9999999999999999999999999

you have been warned to even see the preview pictures:

watch it here

good luck for the dardevils :)

Many things happened recently, things that make me awe and things which make me wanna leave Singapore even more.

Emigration(dont read if you are P-A-T-R-I-O-T-I-C)
I have talked to my parents about emigration. If i dont get a place in local U, i am emigrating.. maybe to US, thailand, or aus to join relatives, or france to join alex :) or canada/wherever i have connections. Even if i do get in, i WILL leave AFTER my studies :)

Emigration is AFTER NS, because if i default NS, i gotta pay 70k, not like some talented music bastard who only paid 5k. and PR can take up to 5 years to attain, so its impossible to default for 5 years.

NS is kinda stupid actually, by engaging in wars, we are 'kay kiang'. Imagine 1000 battalions of ever ready SG soldiers engaging in a war with any country, one atomic bomb and we are GONE. theres no light at the end of the tunnel, theres no chance to fight back at all.

Who cares about how much training you have? you still die. we wasted our 2 years of training for nothing.

rebuttal? yeah, we shouldnt rely on mercenaries, and we have GREAT airforce, navy yadaa yadaa. BUTTTTT, if we are under siege, without ANY natural resources, how far can we go? yes, other countries smart enough can do that, freeze our assets. sure, somebody can go on about singapore having complex connections with this and that country, but at the end of the day, who would wanna support a country small as a dot and without anything to offer? when its at war, there wont be investments, hot money inflows etc etc etc.. :)

then we gotta reservice every year. cool shit. more life wasted. meh.

Then we talked about DRIVING. and i realised i cant get my driving license till im at least 21 because at 18, i have A levels, so its not advisable, due to long waiting time of BTT, FTT and the actual. then, followed by 2 years of shit training, before im free.

Talked to kyle some time back, he got his license at 16. hes in US. im SO envious.

maybe i shouldnt be, because currently, SG has OVERPOPULATION of vehicles. ohwell, we are a SMALL nation. and no point flaunting driving skills, you cant even drive more than 120mph.

thats singapore. thats why im emigrating. i wouldnt want my child to suffer the shit education system here either. meh.

Stupid Visual Checks @ Airports
I was on a bus going to the airport yesterday. there was this visual screening where one officer would come up the bus and briefly sweep across the bus, checking whether there are suspicious articles or people.

THIS IS SO DUMB. terrorists have brains too. they can wear casual clothings and hide whatever vicious bombs in pikachu bags too! they are not characterized by moustaches, scarves which veiled their face, dark glasses and tanned skin. meh.

prior to that, there should be like a metal detector instead, even though that isnt a guaranteed check either.

ALSO, the staff that does the checks are kinda half-hearted. the more hardworking ones would look at every seat, the lazier ones would just strut up and down the aisle like model-wannabes.
that kinda attitude would jeopardize us, but to contradict myself, i wouldnt blame them.

they probably have the same mindset: terrorists CAN disguise too. also, they gotta be bored.. how many damn buses do they have to check? repetitive work sucks, i know that!

just abolish the checks dammit, its a waste of time and resources.

Things that made me AWE

this: the carrotcake shop in ION actually used this 'pager' to inform their customers that their orders are ready.

This is how it looks when its sounding the alarm!

For anybody interested:

Recently i think my lame cells spreaded too rampantly.
hat is how Yuling and I wasted 5 minutes of our lives on FB. Within that short 5 mins, we flooded many people's notifications :] it was definitely fun.

These are my snacks for an hour's self-study at home. :}

My (slanted D:) Eiffel Tower i built a while ago. Pretty magnificent eh.
Recent haze around my area. not too prominent, but still visible.

Then go on youtube and search for khai singapore comedy :]

enjoy!

I have just met the biggest hypocrite of my life.

Fuck you.

well, today was GGGP paper. note, it's GG GP paper. geddit?

This is my room. its messy and just stuffy. Im gonna revamp the whole room during my dec holiday break. its mighty small and i absolutely loathe the windows. for now, im saving up. im on a budget. hopefully it will be a budget surplus instead of a deficit by the end of the year. the closets and tables gotta go definitely. it will be a good project :)



Photos: newest to oldest :)

I dedicate this post to ADLUCIA LIM ZHI YI. hey, its been a while now. hope its all cool still. sorry for the realllllllly late posting. but at least i did! Better late than never. I will always cherish the past memories we had, especially the camming sessions, DDRs and the beaches! and of course our favourite bananas and biscuits. The seemingly endless bickerings are great recollections too. I am actually really thankful for all your support during my lowest and most insane moments in the 4 years that we had spent together. I hope that we will remain really great friends even though we have parted ways, to our different future endeavours. We will hang out soon and often, again. <3 :)

i like this joke:

The story goes that there was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband.

The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.

The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn’t know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady
got what she wanted.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. She brought her husband to the store…

(please scroll page down)

What were you thinking?

HellOOOooooooOOOooo, her husband speaks English!

:)

this
urgh

My new best friend is called mimi.

she jumps and lives in my nose and will never leave,

at least for tonight

Create Talents just asked me down for an interview for freelance modelling.

hm.. heard its pretty much scam but i might wanna see how it goes anyway :)

and no i wont pay

I feel really happy today :)

sehr gluecklich sein!

see, yesterday i was out celebrating with the escape people.

we went to katong for karaoke.

my dad called me 12 times and sent a msg, in which i only reply at 11pm(my bad)

yeah i know i suck, but if u read what was below, u might somehow understand why im so fucked up.

my dad sent me a msg this afternoon just before i left the house.

this was a really special msg.

it read that he was disappointed in my response yesterday and that he thinks that our dad-son relationship seems to

dwindle.

he thinks that more should be done and he wishes to liase with me, so that we can improve on it together.

i was so proud of that msg, i didnt think that he would ever send something like that.

he started his message with 'my son, gerald, ...' too

its such a leap.

and we just had a good talk just now.

its not too indepth, but at least its a progress.

we might be going to sengkang swimming complex for fun this sunday :D

i cant wait.

oh, and steve made me really happy today too :)

im posting some pics probably tomorrow.

night people!

xx

Its like less than 2months before promos, 36days to be exact.

im totally unprepared.

well i do wish i can leave this stressful life and live somewhere else.

i dont mind GERMANY(DUH), UK, Cyprus(ALEX, U NOE lOL) or anywhere else actually

except some ghetto place and places like china, india blahblahblah

i need a change of phone too, this phone sucks X999

i want to post some pictures actually, but i dont have much to post.

OH, SAMBA MASALA is PRETTY COOL, GO CHECK IT OUT.

if i have the choice, i dont mind joining it.

ITS MIGHTY COOL.

werd werd werd!!!

oh yeah i think piercings anywhere else except the ears are pretty gross.

i shant go on elaborating.

and i think some people are trying to hard to impress.

its like they fucking have no life.

woah, its been at least 9347394867days since ive been here.
bin gut, ja alles klar

Ive made a very important choice recently, to drop a subject.
thats not very important, but i think its my greatest choice ever.
there are consequences and i might not hang out with the guys again, but ohwell,
life goes on.

im dignosed with temporary LBP
my lips and my face have been white frequently.
awesome.
they are dragging me to HELL urgh, i dont wanna see the chinese medics!!!

Moin!

Realised that i cant contain hatred for long, whatever happened seem long gone and forgotten, maybe its a good thing :D

.............PWPWPWPW............
.............M..............H............
.............O..........IHATEE........
.............E..........S.......O........
.............M..........TUPIDM........
.............O...............S............
.............E...........SSIIIAN.......
.............M...............A............
.............O...............N............
.............E..............Z.Z...........
.............M............Z....Z.........
.............O...........Z......Z........
.............E..............................
wasteoflifewasteoflifewasteoflife

:)

emo post, u are warned.

Shit happens, and today it did.

well first i spoilt my earphone, den my family had some fucked up issue.

well i was called spoilt(who spoilt me?), and non-self-reflective(right, sms not?)..

oh it all arose from something rather small, like the fucked up DELL PC which i intend to repair maybe 10-20mins later, or when they go out for dinner.

den i learnt that 'parents are not role models, neither are siblings' exist, since 'traditional' and 'shy' parents are not supposed to say sorry, but their children are supposed to.

den i lost all respect of somebody because she is unable to substantiate any of her points well, but instead, exercise her authority with a 'dont test my limit' when she was trying to 'reconcile'

did i mention that they were all enjoying their tv programs when they said they are worried?

anyway they have many weak points, especially about the memories thing. i dont have the best memory, but i was so disappointed that i have better memories of things i did well yet it was not ever taken into consideration.

speaking about taking the first step, what was their first step in engaging a decent conversation without snapping or just shutting the fuck up?

thanks for all your contributions tho, i wouldnt be this way if ud never taught me like u did. I love all my materials too, which is equivalent to ur love. appreciate it.

how i wish i was borned somewhere else, like america or the UK where by 18 i would have my own place.

then the not so emo part..
I feel mighty lucky i have muhd and lw.. they are my best pals, listening and cheering me up. i really dunno what i will do without them. despite them having their stuff to be busy with, they took the time to provide a listening ear and doing all they can, trying to help me tide over. i would not ask for anyone better than them. i wont give anything up for them really, never ever felt so touched before, and understood. THANKS GUYS, I KNOW U WILL READ THIS. or i hope u would. <3 dont give a damn if its mushy or gay :])

i wanna do some ionic eqm tut now,
laters.